Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for August, 2011

The Australian Wallabies (http://www.foxsports.com.au/rugby/rugby-world-cup-2011) are in the throes of the Rugby World Cup.  Last weekend an announcer described them as playing with “intensity, brutality, speed and precision”.  My husband brightened and said ‘These are four of my favorite qualities!”  Thus began four day’s conversation, both silent and audible on what in the world did he mean?

My first thought was “Well, that explains a lot.”  My eyes opened as I remembered the times my feelings had been wounded by these qualities of intensity (loud noises), brutality (ignoring the call to dinner), speed (asking a question and then zooming off even before the answer was given) and precision (the unerring ability to stop a conversation in its tracks with a single, well placed question).  I noticed firstly, that I am pretty darned sensitive, as any member of my family will tell you.  Secondly, I noticed that none of the Wallabies seemed the least bit hurt at this description, in fact they swelled with pride, or as true Aussies, simply shrugged and said “Too right.” under their breath.  Why is this?

Because rugby is a GAME!  All the players are playing a game, an intense, brutal, lightening fast, precise game.  It is war without the political fallout.  Come to think of it Australians even think of war as a game, no wonder they are good at it.  Did I mention my husband is Australian?

 What if I thought of these qualities, when spotted or even received as just part of a game? The game of loving unconditionally.  What if, instead of getting my knickers in a twist when my husband didn’t come to dinner when the announcement was made I just extended love to myself and poured my own glass of wine and used the wait to relax instead of fume?  What if, instead of seeing the speed with which a conversation is stopped as a slap in the face I saw it as a loving attempt for as much conversation as could be tolerated; asking  a question as a way of acknowledging my presence and my enjoyment of conversation without the full committment of time?  What if I could shout WOO HOO!! and join in with a loud noise instead of feeling overwhelmed?

What if I could extend love to anything that came my way and if I didn’t, just shrug and say “Too right”?  Now that is a game I can play with intensity, brutality, speed and precision.

Read Full Post »

SHOULD: a warning sign

This morning I woke feeling the hot, stale breath of SHOULD on the back of my neck.  Instead of my delicious Quiet Time all I could think of was an endless list of tasks that NEEDED DOING DAMN IT!  I “should” prepare for my tour; I “should” empty the dishwasher; I “should” lose weight; get my visa organized, send flowers to Jenny, call Lori, save money…and spend less.  Yuck!  I was drowning in S*H*O*U*L*D.

Instead of continuing this should-fight I asked the book (Extending Love to Your Thoughts) and received this gem:

“I extend stillness to this thought”

The fleeing energy of SHOULD was very present and this poem transported me into the stillness:

“Alas, One Heart”

Did you hear

the one

about

the soldier

who married

the nun?

He warred for sport,

She talked to God for fun.

Together they

explored the far reaches

of one another’s universes

and found

an odd truth.

They could only find

their one Heart

when they abandoned

their sport and fun

and simply

were together

as

One.

The should was calmer now, and the desire to flee was gone but still I was distracted by the things I “should” be doing.  I chose another:

“I extend strength to this thought”

Here is the poem that turned the corner:

“Oh Should!!”

Hello dear Should

stop crying

today you will know your own strength!

Sit quietly

and ask yourself

what do “I” truly want?

A complete “to do” list?

Recognition of memory?

A day off?

Saving

Happiness

Or

Underestimating

Love’s

Doing

Oh Should!

I love to hear you laugh!

This is your secret weapon:

laugh and laugh and LAUGH!

This IS your true nature:

Joyful expression of loving.

Darling Should!

You were sent to remind ME

to laugh.

Thank you dear friend

let us remember always

where Should is

laughter must be too.

 

And the last morsel that iced the cake:

“I extend openness to this thought”

This gave me an instant visual of SHOULD written on a giant piece of paper which immediately dissolved into hundreds of sheets and each smaller square was turning, as if in a choreographed ballet, into other images:

a Monet garden; a cup of tea;  a yellow school bus

The pressing-ness of should was gone, only chills and laughter and light remained.

I am as God created me!

Ahhhhhh, the delicious relief of wholeness.

Read Full Post »

Loving the fog

Yesterday, I had the great joy of facing one of my deepest, most long-standing (more like crouching in the bushes with a machete) fears.  Yippee!  Not.  My 18-year-old daughter wanted to drive to San Francisco (2 hr) and spend the night with a friend going to San Francisco State.  This is not an unreasonable request.  The child in question is no longer a child, she is smart, capable and a good driver.  My fear on the other hand is insane, incapable and a lousy driver careening through toll booths without paying, passing without indicating and generally begging for a ticket.  As my new practice is extending love when thoughts are present blocking the light of who I really am I asked “what flavor of love can I extend to this?”; that I added “ridiculous suggestion” only points to who was driving at the time.

Here is what I heard:  “I extend ACCEPTANCE to this thought.”  So I asked again:  “Um, what other flavor of love could I extend to this thought?”  “ACCEPTANCE” came again.  And again and again.  Yes, I asked four times, unwilling as I was to accept.  It appeared acceptance was my only choice and so I did.  Did I mention the request was whispered in my ear as said daughter thoughtfully came into our bedroom to let us know she was home?  The precise moment my sleeplessness began.

The next morning in quiet I asked again (I know, acceptance is not my strong suit) and this is the beautiful message I received from Holy Spirit:

(The mention of bridges is in reference to the Oakland Bay bridge, a double-decker bridge which collapsed during an earthquake a number of years ago and is still where my own fear overtakes me when I drive across.)

“Holy Precious Child,

Greetings and blessings my dear Child.  We are so happy you have allowed yourself to sit quietly and listen to your heart loving you.  That is all you needed: time to hear and feel this EVERPRESENCE of LOVE.  You need not worry about [x] and her adventure, not because it will go perfectly and without any hitches (although it will) but because I AM with her always.  She is seeking to hear her own heart and she will only be able to do this if you gently stand back in gratitude and know this is happening.

This is what you most want:  her to be confident in her desires and choices, firm in the trusting of her own Voice.  She will learn to ask for assistance or help when needed.  let this beautiful lesson unfold for her.

Fear not the traffic:  extend peace.

Fear not the bridges:  extend clarity.

Fear not getting lost:  extend surefootedness.

Fear not the cost:  extend eternity.

Precious One, You are my love angel, be still and know that you are God.

Amen. Amen & Selah.”

Read Full Post »

My Holiness, my Self

After a blow up with a loved one I felt unsure of any possibility or peace, just about all I could muster in asking the Holy Spirit for help was “WTF mate???!”  This answer was the relief I was seeking:

“Precious One,

Be still a moment and go home. Fear not the salvation of this relationship.  You are integrating holiness into every relationship.  Each step brings you closer to seeing it is but a relationship to your Self you are after–you can organize, rearrange, redecorate or recalibrate every thought you have; you can arrange [thoughts] in pairs, groups or singley but you will still have to see that what is under-girding every single thought is Love.

Love is whole

complete

powerful

enriching

enlightening

truthful

extending

creating.

Let not this dispute amoungst a pairing of thoughts distract you from the truth.

Love is working out everything for the greatest, kindest, most complete benefit for all and for each thought individually.

Do not despair, I say to you:  Be Glad in your peace–Be Glad in your witness–Be Glad in your willingness– All IS WELL.”

Read Full Post »

“An Eloquent Silence”

In silence

do I learn

the eloquence

of grace

the pure acceptance

and completeness

of listening

in love

with all that is

speaking

even listening

with delight

to my own

wordlessness

Read Full Post »