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Archive for August 30th, 2011

SHOULD: a warning sign

This morning I woke feeling the hot, stale breath of SHOULD on the back of my neck.  Instead of my delicious Quiet Time all I could think of was an endless list of tasks that NEEDED DOING DAMN IT!  I “should” prepare for my tour; I “should” empty the dishwasher; I “should” lose weight; get my visa organized, send flowers to Jenny, call Lori, save money…and spend less.  Yuck!  I was drowning in S*H*O*U*L*D.

Instead of continuing this should-fight I asked the book (Extending Love to Your Thoughts) and received this gem:

“I extend stillness to this thought”

The fleeing energy of SHOULD was very present and this poem transported me into the stillness:

“Alas, One Heart”

Did you hear

the one

about

the soldier

who married

the nun?

He warred for sport,

She talked to God for fun.

Together they

explored the far reaches

of one another’s universes

and found

an odd truth.

They could only find

their one Heart

when they abandoned

their sport and fun

and simply

were together

as

One.

The should was calmer now, and the desire to flee was gone but still I was distracted by the things I “should” be doing.  I chose another:

“I extend strength to this thought”

Here is the poem that turned the corner:

“Oh Should!!”

Hello dear Should

stop crying

today you will know your own strength!

Sit quietly

and ask yourself

what do “I” truly want?

A complete “to do” list?

Recognition of memory?

A day off?

Saving

Happiness

Or

Underestimating

Love’s

Doing

Oh Should!

I love to hear you laugh!

This is your secret weapon:

laugh and laugh and LAUGH!

This IS your true nature:

Joyful expression of loving.

Darling Should!

You were sent to remind ME

to laugh.

Thank you dear friend

let us remember always

where Should is

laughter must be too.

 

And the last morsel that iced the cake:

“I extend openness to this thought”

This gave me an instant visual of SHOULD written on a giant piece of paper which immediately dissolved into hundreds of sheets and each smaller square was turning, as if in a choreographed ballet, into other images:

a Monet garden; a cup of tea;  a yellow school bus

The pressing-ness of should was gone, only chills and laughter and light remained.

I am as God created me!

Ahhhhhh, the delicious relief of wholeness.

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