SHOULD: a warning sign
This morning I woke feeling the hot, stale breath of SHOULD on the back of my neck. Instead of my delicious Quiet Time all I could think of was an endless list of tasks that NEEDED DOING DAMN IT! I “should” prepare for my tour; I “should” empty the dishwasher; I “should” lose weight; get my visa organized, send flowers to Jenny, call Lori, save money…and spend less. Yuck! I was drowning in S*H*O*U*L*D.
Instead of continuing this should-fight I asked the book (Extending Love to Your Thoughts) and received this gem:
“I extend stillness to this thought”
The fleeing energy of SHOULD was very present and this poem transported me into the stillness:
“Alas, One Heart”
Did you hear
the one
about
the soldier
who married
the nun?
He warred for sport,
She talked to God for fun.
Together they
explored the far reaches
of one another’s universes
and found
an odd truth.
They could only find
their one Heart
when they abandoned
their sport and fun
and simply
were together
as
One.
The should was calmer now, and the desire to flee was gone but still I was distracted by the things I “should” be doing. I chose another:
“I extend strength to this thought”
Here is the poem that turned the corner:
“Oh Should!!”
Hello dear Should
stop crying
today you will know your own strength!
Sit quietly
and ask yourself
what do “I” truly want?
A complete “to do” list?
Recognition of memory?
A day off?
Saving
Happiness
Or
Underestimating
Love’s
Doing
Oh Should!
I love to hear you laugh!
This is your secret weapon:
laugh and laugh and LAUGH!
This IS your true nature:
Joyful expression of loving.
Darling Should!
You were sent to remind ME
to laugh.
Thank you dear friend
let us remember always
where Should is
laughter must be too.
And the last morsel that iced the cake:
“I extend openness to this thought”
This gave me an instant visual of SHOULD written on a giant piece of paper which immediately dissolved into hundreds of sheets and each smaller square was turning, as if in a choreographed ballet, into other images:
a Monet garden; a cup of tea; a yellow school bus
The pressing-ness of should was gone, only chills and laughter and light remained.
I am as God created me!
Ahhhhhh, the delicious relief of wholeness.
Salvation Chronicles 
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