“The Agony & The Ecstacy of Working with Stone”

I am reading the amazing historical novel about the artist Michelangelo by Irving Stone, published in 1961.  It is richly detailed and will require many pages for terrific quotes in my journal (not to mention trips to Google to look up his incredible works of art).  This quote reminded me of our work with what many call “the ego”.  I think this kind of fits because often it feels my ego is a solid block IN MY WAY of seeing truth about a situation, a brother or myself.  I have a friend who this last weekend had the unbelievable circumstance of losing his beloved mother on one day and then the family dog on the next.  A situation that could turn any heart to stone with the thoughts of “How could this happen?  Why me? My grief  is overwhelming?  Please make it stop hurting.”  Perhaps with Holy Spirit we can become as Michelangelo with his beloved stone and extend love in this way:

“The Topolinos had taught him to work the stone with friendliness, to seek its natural forms, its mountains and valleys, even though it might seem solid; never to grow angry or unsympathetic toward the material.

Stone works with you.  It reveals itself to you.

Stone does not resent the chisel.  It is not being violated.  Its nature is to change.  Each stone has its own character.  It must be understood.  Handle it carefully or it will shatter.  Never let stone destroy itself.

Stone gives itself to skill and to love.” 

—“The Agony & The Ecstasy”  p. 48 by Irving Stone

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“Extending Love to College”

"Who am I now?"

This post is for all the parents and students who are in the midst and mire of making college decisions.  We are with you my friends.  Our second daughter is nearing the end of her GAP year (a year off between HS and college for travel and work, a not uncommon custom we fell in love with in Australia).  We are now visiting schools and trying to “help” her make this decision.  Since there is entirely too much pressure on “what comes next” after high school I am of course giving the appearance of being a nervous wreck.  Thankfully, my process of connecting to Holy Spirit and extending love to my thoughts  is for these occasions pretty much the ONLY thing to do.  In my late night plea before visiting Columbia College of Art in Chicago to “please tell me what college is even FOR” my Holy Friend answered the fears and concerns of my heart:

“I extend awe to this thought.”

“Precious One,

Awe is the moment you take in pure quietness. 

The step into the emptiness of uncertainty–certain of Love’s glorious presence.  You have long resisted education as it seems to indicate you don’t know something.  Education is a process of revealing. A process of remembering the joy which is already here.  College is not an answer to “What do I do now?”

College is another step in learning in remembering “Who am I now?”

Fear not this step.  Trust your daughter and her heart.  Let her ask questions and be aware of what she is thinking herself.  She is opening to her own heart.  Fear not her heart.

Fear not her knowing.

Fear not her not knowing.

Let you guidance GUIDE you in all things.

I love you.

Did you know that?

I love you with the hearttruth of the infinite power of love.

Amen & Selah”

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“The Sanctuary”

Welcome!

My quiet time yielded treasure this morning.  Holy Spirit said:

“Dearest One, you need an image of success that you may return to again and again when the doubts of unworthiness sneak and creep  upon your awareness.”

This is the image given:

A Cathedral.

I have come into the sanctuary in a Chanel suit, heels clicking on the ancient stone tiles.  I am relieved to be in the quiet for a moment.  I can sit my bag down on one of the pews at the back.  I will just sit here and catch my breath.

What is going on up front:  What IS the commotion?!  I leave my bag and step out of my shoes as to not add to the apparent fray at the altar….

I walk stealthily down a side aisle to get closer to the action.

OMG!!!  It is Jesus!!!!

Welcoming ME–waiting for ME–delighted to see ME–glorying in MY presence!

I am at once overwhelmed and relieved of all fear and trepidation.  I AM HOME!  The welcome and joy I receive is indescribable.  This is the phrase that instantly comes to mind:

“Making Love with Jesus”

I have my first true glimpse of what is actually happening when we extend love.  We are truly co-creating with Love and birthing JOY.  Amen and selah.

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“Intensity, Brutality, Speed & Precision”

The Australian Wallabies (http://www.foxsports.com.au/rugby/rugby-world-cup-2011) are in the throes of the Rugby World Cup.  Last weekend an announcer described them as playing with “intensity, brutality, speed and precision”.  My husband brightened and said ‘These are four of my favorite qualities!”  Thus began four day’s conversation, both silent and audible on what in the world did he mean?

My first thought was “Well, that explains a lot.”  My eyes opened as I remembered the times my feelings had been wounded by these qualities of intensity (loud noises), brutality (ignoring the call to dinner), speed (asking a question and then zooming off even before the answer was given) and precision (the unerring ability to stop a conversation in its tracks with a single, well placed question).  I noticed firstly, that I am pretty darned sensitive, as any member of my family will tell you.  Secondly, I noticed that none of the Wallabies seemed the least bit hurt at this description, in fact they swelled with pride, or as true Aussies, simply shrugged and said “Too right.” under their breath.  Why is this?

Because rugby is a GAME!  All the players are playing a game, an intense, brutal, lightening fast, precise game.  It is war without the political fallout.  Come to think of it Australians even think of war as a game, no wonder they are good at it.  Did I mention my husband is Australian?

 What if I thought of these qualities, when spotted or even received as just part of a game? The game of loving unconditionally.  What if, instead of getting my knickers in a twist when my husband didn’t come to dinner when the announcement was made I just extended love to myself and poured my own glass of wine and used the wait to relax instead of fume?  What if, instead of seeing the speed with which a conversation is stopped as a slap in the face I saw it as a loving attempt for as much conversation as could be tolerated; asking  a question as a way of acknowledging my presence and my enjoyment of conversation without the full committment of time?  What if I could shout WOO HOO!! and join in with a loud noise instead of feeling overwhelmed?

What if I could extend love to anything that came my way and if I didn’t, just shrug and say “Too right”?  Now that is a game I can play with intensity, brutality, speed and precision.

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“Take Two Poems and Call Me in the Morning”

SHOULD: a warning sign

This morning I woke feeling the hot, stale breath of SHOULD on the back of my neck.  Instead of my delicious Quiet Time all I could think of was an endless list of tasks that NEEDED DOING DAMN IT!  I “should” prepare for my tour; I “should” empty the dishwasher; I “should” lose weight; get my visa organized, send flowers to Jenny, call Lori, save money…and spend less.  Yuck!  I was drowning in S*H*O*U*L*D.

Instead of continuing this should-fight I asked the book (Extending Love to Your Thoughts) and received this gem:

“I extend stillness to this thought”

The fleeing energy of SHOULD was very present and this poem transported me into the stillness:

“Alas, One Heart”

Did you hear

the one

about

the soldier

who married

the nun?

He warred for sport,

She talked to God for fun.

Together they

explored the far reaches

of one another’s universes

and found

an odd truth.

They could only find

their one Heart

when they abandoned

their sport and fun

and simply

were together

as

One.

The should was calmer now, and the desire to flee was gone but still I was distracted by the things I “should” be doing.  I chose another:

“I extend strength to this thought”

Here is the poem that turned the corner:

“Oh Should!!”

Hello dear Should

stop crying

today you will know your own strength!

Sit quietly

and ask yourself

what do “I” truly want?

A complete “to do” list?

Recognition of memory?

A day off?

Saving

Happiness

Or

Underestimating

Love’s

Doing

Oh Should!

I love to hear you laugh!

This is your secret weapon:

laugh and laugh and LAUGH!

This IS your true nature:

Joyful expression of loving.

Darling Should!

You were sent to remind ME

to laugh.

Thank you dear friend

let us remember always

where Should is

laughter must be too.

 

And the last morsel that iced the cake:

“I extend openness to this thought”

This gave me an instant visual of SHOULD written on a giant piece of paper which immediately dissolved into hundreds of sheets and each smaller square was turning, as if in a choreographed ballet, into other images:

a Monet garden; a cup of tea;  a yellow school bus

The pressing-ness of should was gone, only chills and laughter and light remained.

I am as God created me!

Ahhhhhh, the delicious relief of wholeness.

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